Conflict Transformation
What would be possible if we saw conflicts and disagreements as opportunities for a deeper relationship? Most of us have not experienced that way of being in a conflict or disagreement. Many of us have inherited an experience where conflict meant one of us was right and the other was wrong. It is especially hard when it is bigger than conflict: when there has been significant harm or misconduct from trusted leaders. Luckily, a different way of engagement is possible.
I am grateful for those who have mentored me as a conflict engagement coach and restorative practitioner…
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My Family
My ancestors and my living relatives, who have navigated life relationships with me and with each other, even when it was hard. Thank you for being my life-long teachers.
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Dr. June and Mr. Dean
Two mentors, both who challenged me to imagine and practice conflict engagement in my high school and college, through local and international community organizing and solidarity work.
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Pacifica Graduate Institute
My faculty mentors who invited me to embrace a psychological approach that knows the whole world to be fully alive and for each of us to be intimately connected.
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The Ahimsa Collective
A collective of restorative practitioners inside and outside of California prisons. They are a network of visionaries embodying a way to harm less and heal more on the hardest stuff.
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Trust for Youth and Child Leadership (India)
My first non-profit partner in India. They were willing to stay at the table with me through many conflicts: the conflicts we created and the ones we inherited as global citizens in a colonized world.
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White People for Black Lives (WP4BL)
A collective of anti-racist white organizers and activists who invited me to imagine cultural alternatives to disposability culture. My special gratitude to WP4BL co-collaborator Stacey Martino Rivera for her mentorship and introduction to the work of Miki Kashtan.
Conflict Engagement Coaching
One-to-One Coaching and Support
I love to work one-to-one with people navigating a specific conflict or building their skills across multiple conflicts in a congregational or organizational context. Conflict coaching can be one session or multiple sessions to support you in your personal goals.
First, identifying your needs.
Second, imagining the needs present in your conflict situation.
And Third, imagining intervening behaviors that can help you change the patterns you feel stuck in.
Dyads, Triads, and Small Group Engagement Processes
2-12 People
Sometimes our small groups, teams, or staff reach a point where we are ready for facilitated support. Sometimes, you are not yet in a conflict, but you are longing for some ways to navigate what feels like a relationship that is always a little “off.” Small groups can be as small as two people seeking support in navigating a conflict together or a dozen people on a team strategizing on how to address a conflict pattern. This can involve short-term interventions (such as a training or a listening circle) as well as longer-term accompaniment.
Organizational Conflict and Restorative Culture Change
You and your organization or congregation want to do conflict differently. You are looking for a way to engage leadership as well as organizational membership in learning new skills and approaches, or you might want to build a team that helps address conflict at the peer level. This might look like a Healthy Congregation Team or a Covenantal Relationship Team in Unitarian Universalist congregations. In justice organizations, you might call this a Restorative Culture Team or Conflict Engagement Team. This offering involves designing a process tailored to your organization’s needs and goals. For larger and longer-term projects such as this, I will often bring in additional facilitators with specific skills that would support us in engaging your unique situation.
Next Steps: How to Work With Me
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Interested in taking the next step? Fill out this form to contact me and share more about what offerings you are interested in. This is a free, 30-minute consultation to assess your needs and if I’m the right person to support you. This may also lead me to suggesting other names you can contact to find the right fit.
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After our initial conversation, we will create an agreement that guides our next steps together– whether more research is needed to draft a longer-term proposal, or whether your next step is a clear request for a specific intervention. I will create an agreement for our work, a possible outline for the journey, and a fee structure for you to decide on.
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My fees are based on a collaborative contribution model that involves you and I sharing our needs and ability to support and contribute to each other. I am grateful to my collaborator, Stacey Martino Rivera, for introducing me to this model.
Pricing
For hourly 1-1 or dyad coaching support
I charge a sliding scale of $100-$300. This is based on what you can pay.
(If you are unable to pay at this scale, I still invite you to reach out to me to explore possible alternative ways to contribute to each other that are non-monetary.)
For Small Group and Organizational Projects
I will craft a proposal with fees specific to your needs and requests. This will also include a sliding scale that varies based on your organization’s ability to pay. I am also open to arrangements of trade and non-monetary support to one another to make this doable for you and your organization.